The Truth of Decision-Making Dilemma: The Fourth Option Is the Destination for Most People

Once it's your turn to make a choice that involves your major interests, it becomes extremely difficult.

Since it's called a choice, it means picking up something and letting go of something else. What to pick up, what to let go, and what's the basis for it?

What are we most afraid of when making choices? Regret. We regret choosing this option and regret not choosing that one. We always want to choose the better one, but the so - called 'better' is not static.

The 'better' option we can access in the current state is not the same as the 'better' option we might access at a future time. It's constantly changing.

So, there's no such thing as a 'better choice' at all. If some choices can be repeated or we can go back and make them again, it would be easier. This is also the premise for low - cost and rapid trial - and - error.

For example, what to eat, what to play, where to go, what job to find, what project to work on, and what career to pursue.

But for some things, the margin for error is not that high, and the cost is relatively high. In such cases, we need to think carefully. Then you need a relatively clear basic principle.

The basic principle here doesn't mean having a bunch of rigid standards. Just like many people make a long list before looking for a partner, but later find that the people they end up with often don't meet the original standards.

There's a saying: 'Conditions are for those you don't love.'

If we use too many standards to make a choice, we'll find there are very few options. This is not only true in relationships but also when looking for a job or a project, because these all have various problems and deficiencies to some extent.

But if we only rely on so - called feelings or inspiration to make a judgment, it's easy to make mistakes. Moreover, not many people have accurate intuitions.

So, we need to establish some basic principles. The number of principles shouldn't be too many.

At the same time, principles are not used for the final judgment but for risk management and narrowing down the choices.

Risk management helps us avoid big mistakes. Some conditions need to be followed, which may seem easy to overlook or difficult.

Narrowing down the choices is for more exposure.

Let's take the scenario of job - hunting as an example.

1. When you only hear the names of some job positions, you're asked to judge what you're suitable for and what you like.
2. You're told the names of some job positions, their specific work contents, and the skills required, and then asked to make a judgment.
3. You're informed of the detailed situations of some job positions, taken to see the work environment and work contents, and then asked to make a judgment.
4. You're given a few days or weeks to experience some job positions and spend time with relevant colleagues, and then asked to make a judgment.

Which of these four is more conducive to your judgment? Naturally, it's the fourth one.

There are too many types of jobs in the world. You can't experience or access them all because the cost is too high. So, based on some principles, we can do some screening to narrow down the scope.

It'll be easier and less costly to make contacts based on the narrowed - down scope.

The choice you make at this time will be closer to your thoughts, reducing the possibility of disappointment and regret.

Of course, this is just a theoretical situation. It's still quite difficult to achieve. For example, whether the conditions for narrowing down the scope are reasonable, how to access more choice possibilities, and whether you have enough motivation to experience.

The last and most important point is that people are really lazy. They tend to stay in their comfort zones and not move at all. Unless a crisis is right in front of them, many people, including myself, are too lazy to take action.

We'll stay in a certain environment. There seem to be three choices: A, B, and C. In fact, there are four. The fourth one is not to choose.

And not choosing is the real situation for most people, right?

Daily Reading & Writing by Xiaolu 10/01/2025 [Day 757]