Why Does Your Social Circle Stop at 25?

The Decline of Social Expansion with Age

As we get older, we become more conservative in judging things, more resistant to new things, more calculating about costs, less willing to waste time, and less eager to meet new people.

Today, let's discuss this phenomenon and how to deal with it. For example, think about your friends around you. How many did you meet before or around the age of 20? Most of them are probably classmates, childhood playmates, or people you've known for years. How many friends did you make after starting work? And what's the relationship like?

During the National Day, I attended a classmate's wedding and found that most people's social circles were set in their 20s. Friends and colleagues made after starting work usually don't have a deep relationship. We don't really know each other well, and we don't have much time to get to know others.

Our time is occupied by work, family, and other things. When we have a little free time, we might just want to rest, sleep, or be alone. Some of us, like me, use that time to make money.

The time cost of getting to know a new person is quite high. It takes a long time from being strangers to breaking the ice, getting to know each other, and then gradually becoming ordinary friends through chatting and activities. It's even more difficult to become good friends.

Building trust is costly, and people have strong defenses and boundaries, especially those living alone in big cities. Once they get used to it, they really hate being disturbed and don't like others getting into their lives, even though they might wish they had more friends at night when they're alone.

This description might not be accurate. It's just based on my personal observations of people around me, comments from netizens, and my own situation.

A Solution: Common Hobbies

If you want to solve this problem, I have an idea: find a common hobby. Note that it's not a common topic or a common goal, but a hobby, something that you can both participate in.

Social connections need a strong sense of participation, not just empty chatting. Most people aren't very good at chatting, and it's easy to run out of topics or make the conversation awkward. Many people don't like chatting with strangers.

But if you have the same hobby, it's different. You have a basis for chatting, and it won't just stop at chatting. You can build a sense of participation and interact with each other. Since it's a hobby, you can play together.

Hobbies can be diverse. You can choose one you like or try more. Someone asked if making money counts. It can. In the self - media circle, many relationships are formed this way, and it's totally okay.

This step isn't that difficult. The second point, I think, is even harder. That is, you need to be willing to open up yourself, meet new people, make friends, and get closer to them.

Having a sense of closeness or affinity is a gift. It makes people not afraid of disturbing you and willing to approach and interact with you.

I've been like this for some time, and still am now. I easily give people the impression of "do not disturb".

It's not all bad. It can save you a lot of time and reduce so - called ineffective socializing. You won't be bothered by many people, and you won't get caught up in the troubles of social relationships.

But the downside is obvious. Just like everything has two sides, your social connections with most people are very shallow and few. So, you'll easily fall back into the initial state.

Some people might say, aren't we supposed to reject ineffective socializing now? Yes, but rejecting ineffective socializing doesn't mean not socializing at all. You also need to judge what effective socializing is for you.

Many people cut off a lot of relationships but end up not building a new social network and not achieving anything with that time.

Conclusion

Most people's social circles stop expanding after the age of 20. After that, their focus gradually shifts, and they don't have much time to meet more people.

To solve this problem, find a common hobby, increase participation and interaction. But more importantly, you need to be willing to open up and meet new people.

One thing to note: your social circle must be updated so that you can keep moving forward.

Daily Reading & Writing by Xiaolu 10/03/2025 [Day 759]