Your Social Circle Defines Your Cognitive Boundaries: My Friend Stories

The Power of Social Perception

You decide the world you see. Today, I'm gonna tell you some stories about "I have a friend".

I have a friend who became a programmer after graduation. He didn't have many big plans and just went with the flow, living in the moment. But is that really the case? Not exactly. Why? Because he realized early on that he should start dating, and he's almost getting married.

Everyone lives in their own world with their own perspective. What you see is completely different from what he sees.

I have another friend I met after graduation. He's really good at his job and has been in a certain industry for years. He's achieved a bit of success. Of course, with the tough economic situation later, his career has had its ups and downs. He's also a super social guy, kind of care - free. I won't reveal more details, but I guess he'll be getting married soon too.

Friends don't have to have the exact same values or similar backgrounds. Just having one thing in common is enough. That's what we call like - minded friends.

I have a friend... You decide what kind of world you see.

People are complex, really complex. But in a way, it's also simple. They have many sides. If you don't get to know them well and have more conversations, you won't know what they're up to.

How We Perceive the World

How do we observe and understand the world? Through all the information we can get.

Recently, I've noticed that if when you talk to others, the topics, references, or stories you bring up mostly come from someone on the Internet, I think that's quite dangerous.

Why? Because it's too easy to just believe what you hear. The information might not be accurate, it can be very misleading, and it often exaggerates some parts while ignoring others.

It also shows that you haven't experienced much yourself, haven't done many things, and don't have many friends around you.

If you did, you'd definitely talk about them first. What happens around you has a bigger impact on you and should be your top priority.

If you really don't have such stories, it means you're kind of out of touch, which is not a good thing.

The Value of Social Interaction

I don't really agree with the idea that people should be lonely or that socializing is useless.

Loneliness is a constant, but that doesn't mean you have to be lonely all the time. A lot of socializing might seem useless, but it doesn't mean people don't need it.

In fact, socializing is really valuable. People learn, grow, and get better through social interaction.

Learning from excellent people is a great way. It can directly improve the quality of your information, actions, and thinking. That's what we call effective socializing.

It's not about being alone and thinking you're super clear - headed. That's not true.

A person's real source of information is actually their social circle, including their friends on social media, not just what you see on the Internet.

The social circle you can reach is your cognitive boundary. When you hear your friends' stories and experiences, you'll have a deeper feeling, not just read some random person's comments online.

That's why they say, "A thousand online chats are not as good as one in - person meeting."

Besides the fact that in - person meetings usually have more information, the most important thing is the feeling. When you actually meet someone, you'll feel it more and believe it more.

My Changing Attitude Towards Making Friends

I've also noticed that in my college years and the first few years after graduation, I was quite active and at least not against making friends.

Now, it's not that I'm against it, but I kind of avoid it. I don't really want to talk or am afraid to talk. It's either because I'm worried about wasting time, or I think it's too much trouble, or I'm concerned about all sorts of things.

A lot of people, including me, are used to being alone and think it's pretty cool. But recently, I've realized that this is a big problem.

Time won't be wasted. Everything has value. For me, everything can be material for my writing.

So, how many "I have a friend" stories do you have?

Daily Reading & Writing by Xiaolu 09/26/2025 [Day 752]